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Questionable translations 3

May 112013

This odd bit of English appears on the giant map / historical background sign at the north entrance to Beijing’s Temple of Heaven.

Unless the Tauntaun scene from The Empire Strikes Back was a documentary of what went on during Ming dynasty rituals (and there’s only one way diving into animal carcasses ends well… not counting the Dogs in Elk tragi-comedy), it’s likely they meant “Divine Kitchen.”

“Dive-in” = “Divine.” Sure, why not. The neighboring structure also has a spelling error but the function… remains clear.

Once past that interesting sign, it was a gorgeous day at the Temple of Heaven (天坛 Tiantan). Continue reading »

A Face for Dumplings

China, Food No Responses »

May 052013

On my way to visit Peking University last week, I stopped off at a baozi (包子) restaurant – steamed buns!

If you’ve ever had dim sum, you’ve had some bao zi. Filled with meat or vegetables, they’re just fantastic. And this place had great food. It’s just, the sign in the dining room (ostensibly of the founder) was… wrong. I don’t know what expression he had on his face, or what message he was trying to convey (is that a thumbs-up, or is he suggesting we go somewhere else because these taste funny?), but it didn’t look like “welcome in, have some great food!”

Maybe it was a warning: eat too many baozi, and you’ll start to resemble one.

Decide for yourself:

[Honestly, I feel a bit guilty mocking this sign. It's half his expression, and half his appearance - which we only have so much control over. That said, take a critical look at the picture you're hanging in your dining room, and decide if it's really appetizing.]

Having eaten the (pretty good) dumplings I then went with Ivy, my host for the day, to tour Peking University (they haven’t transitioned to “Beijing” – possibly because it’s a well known name). It’s a ridiculously beautiful campus, with some old buildings, small gardens, and winding pathways. If you’re in town, it’s worth the visit. Some pictures here, hopefully good enough to make up for that last one.

Questionable Translations 2

China, Errata, Language 2 Responses »

May 042013

Bringing “dark humor” to new depths, Natalie sent me this ad from a digital billboard in the ~~Beijing~~ Xiamen airport:

Dark, dark sunglasses…

Some Chinese friends suggested that Helen Keller – who for years was one of the few western writers whose works were permitted in China – was also one of the few western faces known well throughout the country. This might create a strong visual association with dark glasses, unassociated to her blindness (assuming more people saw her face than read her book). It’s a theory – I’ll go with it until someone proposes a better reason for the brand name. (“Tastelessness” was a strong runner-up.)

War Bird

China, Errata, Travel 1 Response »

Apr 292013

Went to the China Military Museum (actual name: “The Military Museum of Chinese People’s Revolution”), which is currently undergoing renovations. (It’s Spring: everything in Beijing is undergoing renovations.) While the inside was closed off, the outside exhibits were still open for viewing. Lots of tanks, lots of artillery, a few boats, and some planes.

Delicate design, but remain cognizant of its purpose.

I’m not a big fan of war. Violence in general nauseates me. But I went with Masi Dao because he knew there was one item on exhibit which you don’t often get to see: A P51 Mustang. Continue reading »

Questionable Translations

China, Language No Responses »

Apr 262013

While I’m busy filling in the huge gaps in this blog (just added a couple postings about learning Chinese in February and March), I thought I should do something to keep my regular readers interested – all nine of you. (Speaking of whom, a shout out to the friendly guys at San Quentin; good luck at the probation hearing Mad Dog!)

Walking around China, there’s loads of great English translations. And by ‘great’ I mean ‘terrible.’ These aren’t anything new – but they’re still fun. I’ll try to photograph and post as many of the wonderful, terrible ones as I can.

This one comes from a restaurant Tina took me to after practice one day – just down the street from The Lama Temple and Ditan Park in Beijing.

The translation is an idiom: Continue reading »

Chinese White Lightning

China, Food No Responses »

Apr 172013

The local high-octane, almost flavorless, can-be-used-as-a-degreaser alcohol is called ‘Bai Jiu’ (白酒 — literally, “white alcohol”). It becomes only slightly more drinkable when prepared and served at below-zero temperatures. David (one half of the wonderful couple housing me at the moment) likes to infuse a bottle of Bai Jiu with habañeros, which I contend transforms it into a WMD (Weapon of Mouth Destruction).

Red Star, White Lightning: BaiJiu

Fear For Four

China, Errata No Responses »

Apr 172013

…or How Chinese Builders Go Higher, Faster

Whatever you do, don’t mis-pronounce “four” in China. The Pinyin is Si (fourth tone- falling), pronounced somewhere between “seh” and “suh.” When spoken correctly, you will sound like the godfather of the snake Cosa Nostra. A somewhat sibilant, seriously stern similitude (sorry) of Marlon Brando. That’s the number four.

Use the third tone – as if El Capo del Tutti Serpenti experiences a touch of indigestion while hissing – and instead of “four” you said “death.” Death is such bad luck (thankfully, it’s the last bad luck you can have) that people go to great lengths to avoid fours here. Nobody wants a house or apartment with the number four, and if you’re willing to have a four (or more!) in your mobile phone number, the service providers will actually pay you.

It’s similar to the onus borne by the number 13 in the US. Just as with those old buildings in the States missing a “Floor 13″ (do they still skip the 13th floor in new buildings?), many Chinese buildings skip ‘death floor,’ going directly from Floor Three to Five.

But wait, it gets better – it’s not just the fourth floor that’s skipped, it’s any floor with a ‘four’ in it. So you can count out Floors 14 and 24. I haven’t been in a real high-rise here yet, but I imagine the entire 4x block of floors is skipped, jumping from 39 to 50. Then, just to cover all the bases, throw out Floor 13. (Have we outsourced our unlucky numbers to China?) Take a gander at the elevator panel here:

Beijing Spring

China, Travel No Responses »

Apr 132013

Despite my lack of posts, I am still alive! My posts are going up out of order, based on how long it takes me to write something that doesn’t completely embarrass me and everyone who ever tried to teach me English. For example, A Travel Watch just went up, though I started writing it back in January – so look for it further down. (Or don’t – it’s not that exciting.) Here’s a very quick post just to keep the momentum up and show off beautiful, spring-time Beijing!

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Returned to China (from my mandatory every-90-days visa exit) to longer days and warmer weather. Took a walk with MaSiDao to see the massive Front Gates, standing just south of Tian’anmen.

Beijing Front Gate – Zhengyangmen or Qianmen

Fresh Coconut Water

Food, Philippines, Travel No Responses »

Apr 012013

I spent the day walking around in the heat of Manila, getting dehydrated and tired. Looking for a drink which truly revives, and found it on the back of a pedal-cart: coconut water (buko juice).

Upsides:

- refreshing

- tastes great

- no added ingredients
- lots of electrolytes
- clean (at least, until the machete hacks into it)
- 100% biodegradeable container
- usually comes with a snack (the coconut meat, if it’s not too young)
- cost: 25 PhPesos (about 60¢)

Downsides:

- the can opener is a freaking machete (wait, that’s pretty cool. Maybe it’s an upside…)

If you’re still undecided, here’s the kicker:

- free show!! (Click on the picture to watch…)

Local Fruits – Part 2

Food, Philippines No Responses »

Mar 302013

Mangosteen

Unopened, it looks like something shot from a mideval cannon – but inside is a set of pearls on red velvet.

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